Adult Children of Abusive Parents: A Healing Program for Those Who Have Been Physically, Sexually, o

Thank you, Mr. Farmer, for recognizing that the hurt doesn't stop once the abuse does; for me, coping with it as an adult was more difficult than as a child because I now realize with an adult's intelligence and insight, exactly what was being done to me and how horrible it was. So much abuse is undetected until the child grows up and realizes that no, this isn't normal (I didn't realize all families weren't like this) and it WAS wrong. Too many well-meaning people minimize the adult survivor's pain or dismiss it as meaningless: "that was years ago and it's over" "get over it and move on" or the worst, "Just don't dwell on it anymore." If you haven't been abused, you don't get it and never will. thank you, Mr. Farmer, for not only understanding, but for showing us a way out. The focus on child abuse is on children, not the survivors, and we need help too.

I found that this book, although promising a fresh look at the age old problems of adult children of abuse, falls short in the long run. Adults who experienced abuse as children are usually well aware of that abuse. This book deals with uncovering the abuse, and then takes, in my opinion, controversial steps at therapy. Those steps include a "reconstruction of the past" in essence fabricating lies and letting those lies replace the truths of the abuse. I, for one, was looking for a way to defeat the anger I feel, not reconstruct my past into some idyllic existence. For me, living a lie where I remember parents who never existed would only be compounding the problem.

So, I cannot recommend this book as part of an affective regimen of therapy.

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I remember reading this book over and over again at one point of life, but in retrospect, this book traumatized me in a realization of the issues I was dealing with at the time. I would call this type of book "pathology book" in stead of calling it "recovery book." It helps to understand why certain issues arise, but in life, what you do about it is more important than understanding it. This book left me so sad without a lead to a hope of living. The solution suggested in this book was not effective to me. It would have been better if a book had pathology part and EFFECTIVE treatment part.

I believe readers should note that the book was written 15 years ago, and there has been much improvement in psychology and psychotherapy. I would have given five stars if this were to be written ten years ago, but due to the gap in time and situation, I had to reduce it to four stars. It is still a great book as far as understanding your association with your care takers.

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I get the idea that most of the people writing reviews of these books are Psychologists and aren't people who were actually abused.. I thought there were a few good ideas. It was good at showing what characteristics people who were abused have, but most people who were abused already know they have all these characteristics. They are trying to figure out what "normal" is and how to get from point A to point B, and to be honest if they are buying this book, they're buying this book to get help and not to come up with all the theories and all. That said, it's still better than most of the other books I've read, and it still has good ideas that are worth getting the book for. There's a section on listening to what's around you.. I had been going to the swimming pool several times a week for the past few years, and I never really heard the sounds of the water splashing, or the kids playing, or the lifeguard, or the parents sitting there, I just tuned it all out, like everything and everyone else.

but it's still not a lot of help to a person who has been abused. It's really more for therapists to be honest, and that does me little good, to be honest. but I'm still glad I got the book,a nd I don't regret getting it. Some of them are a waste.

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Wonderful book for those who refuse to remain a victim, and are sincere about healing and recovery.

Farmer spends just the right amount of time in covering the types of abuse. Much of the book is spent on a step-by-step, in-depth recovery and healing process. It talks about healing one's self, dealing with parents and others, and how to break the cycle of abusive behavior.

It's not a book that says "stay a victim", and it's not a book that where every other line says "you need a therapist for any success". It's a very useful book that anyone with abusive parents can benefit greatly from.

Out of all the books I've read about abusive parents, this one has been the most useful. Thank you, Steven Farmer.

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Ayurvedic Beauty Care: Ageless Techniques to Invoke Natural Beauty

An amazing, wonderful book, one of the most informative I have ever read on beauty care or ayurveda, it's packed full of information from cover to cover. Very extensive, talks about all the different aspects of health and beauty care. Lots and lots of recipes to make at home and which do work. Never again will I need to throw away good money on useless, expensive face creams that don't do the job and put me at risk for cancer. Only drawback, perhaps, is that some of the recipes have too many ingredients for modest pocketbooks. Otherwise a great buy and a great book, if you don't like creepy, strange-sounding unreliable chemicals in the products you put on your skin or in your hair, this is the book for you. It's better than just a simple make-your-own-cosmetics type of book because the recipes are tailored precisely to YOUR particular skin type.

I found this book in one of the South India's bookstores. It got my attention because of the cover an ancient drawing depicted the woman's beauty from the times long gone.

When I read a few of the pages whilst deciding to buy the book or not, I was surprised by the straightforwardness and usefulness of the information about beauty, so I bought the book. And I wasn't disappointed for doing so.

The book is a bit thick my edition has 281 pages. However it's very easy to read, you may not even notice how you will get to the very end of it.

This book may be slightly more suitable for women, but it would also suit those men who want to look after their skin, hair and health in general, in a natural way.

Ayurvedic Beauty Care book focuses a lot on the skin and hair betterment, but it also mentions quite extensively how to fully cleanse your internal body and nourish it naturally.

What dosha type are you?

The first part of the book deals with three doshas. A dosha, as the author explains, is a life-giving force. There are three doshas in total, each one having different quality. For examle, Kapha can be described as wet; Vata as wind or breath; Pitta as heat or energy.

Each person has one particular dosha dominating, but sometimes it happens that all three doshas are of completely equal amount in one person.

In this section there is a comprehensive test to assess which is your dominant dosha, and then the author gives advice about the best natural ingredients to use for various beauty regimes for each of the three doshas.

Bringing these three doshas in balance within a person, as well as other elements such as agni (transformative power responsible for digestion and similar processes), is the fundamental principle of Ayurveda, as the author herself points out.

Daily routines for enhancing beauty

After listing some initial information necessary to understand in order to grasp what Ayurveda is about, the author goes on to teach some daily routines to enhance the beauty.

In Ayurveda the perfect functioning of the body consists of good digestion and assimilation of the food together with a regular and efficient waste evacuation. If these processes work well, then the beauty and radiance comes naturally. Therefore ayurvedic cleansing processes focus a great deal on perfecting these workings of the body.

Ayurvedic Beauty Care book mentions some good advice about how to help digestion as well as how to select your food wisely. It also has a section about how to eat according to your dosha and even suggests a sample menu for a day.

How to balance your agni

The concept of agni is unique to ayurveda. The author describes agni as simply being the digestive fire. And that not only applies to the process of food digestion, but also the digestion of your thoughts, emotions, feelings and information.

Agni cleans our toxins and keeps the digestive tract clean. This brings radiance to the outer body. When agni is not balanced, it may be too active or too slow. The signs that your agni is slow are these:

* Gas

* Burping

* Slow digestion

* Tired mind

* Difficulty walking

* Scanty or no perspiration

* Constipation

* Dull complexion

The author in this section provides many effective tips about how to balance both low and too active agni.

Vitamins and minerals

In this section of the Ayurvedic Beauty Care book Melanie Sachs lists vitamins and minerals, the signs of their deficiency and in which foods particular vitamins and minerals can be found. Straight after this chapter she also discusses fasting when it's good to fast and when it's not recommended.

Beauty and work

All aspects of your life contribute to your beauty or the lack of it. And because employment is a significant part of most people's lives, it's important to choose your job wisely. Here the author suggests how to select the work that suits your inner self. She notes that for each type of person there exists work that is natural and satisfying.

Each dosha has a certain inclination towards a particular career. However it's also possible to choose work which is not your type, but then re-balance your energy by doing an additional activity which agrees with your dosha.

Massage

Everyone needs to receive massage regularly, especially the Vata-type people. Massage nourishes and relaxes the body. Different types of people (Pitta, Vata and Kapha types) need to get massages in different ways to get most benefits. Also different massage oils should be used for different dosha types. The author in this book lists the practices and the oils that should be used for each type of dosha.

Some advice on bath, meditation and sleep is also given in the Ayurvedic Beauty Care book. An especially good chapter is on herbal baths; for example, an author gives a good herbal bath recipe for sound sleep.

Colors, aromas, gems and sounds

Melanie Sachs acknowledges that everything in this world is energy, and that colors, aromas, gems and sounds have certain energetic qualities that could better or harm us. Thus we can use certain qualities of these mentioned objects to increase our health and enhance our beauty.

She goes on to explain how essential oils, colors and sounds can significantly improve our bodies and minds. Melanie especially focuses on essential oils, noting how many great benefits a person could get from using them.

She lists the oils for each dosha type and she even provides an essential oil chart. I found this chart extremely useful, because it has checkmarks on the qualities of each essential oil.

For example if I look at the essential lemon oil row, I see these qualities checked:

"Oily, mature, acne, inflamed, itchy, wrinkles, congested, tired/flabby, varicose/thread veins (skin conditions), antiseptic, astringent, antibiotic, relaxing, dandruff, nail care (oil uses and qualities)."

So such chart is of great use to me. When I find out about a particular essential oil, I find it in the chart and check if it would suit my skin.

Special care of the regions of the body

In this chapter the author lists specific beauty treatments for nails, feet, hair, hands and so on. I found the hair treatment section a very useful one. The author here suggests completely natural shampoo recipes (dry and wet shampoo recipes) as well as the causes for common hair problems and their effective treatments.

Ayurvedic skin care

Skin has different qualities and experiences different problems under the influence of each dosha. Therefore each dosha type should look after their skin in a different way. However no matter which dosha you represent, the full ayurvedic facial treatment consists of eight steps:

1. Cleansing

2. Oleation massage

3. Herbal steam or compress

4. Gentle scrub

5. Cleansing or nutrifying mask or facial pack

6. Toning/rejuvenating

7. Moisturizing

8. Hydrating

Each of these steps are thoroughly described in the Ayurvedic Beauty Care book, together with natural recipes for each treatment. For example, for initial cleansing, the author suggests a few herbal cleansing powder recipes for different types of skin (normal, dry, oily or blemished and mature).

Further on the author mentions a specific massage technique for the face, together with specific oils you should select according to your skin condition. She also mentions various natural scrubs, face packs, toners, moisturizers and mists to improve the quality of your skin.

As for make up, the author doesn't give much attention to it. She claims that if you follow the advice she gave in the Ayurvedic Beauty Care book, your natural beauty will increase to the extent that you will use little to no make up. The most important thing is to improve your natural beauty, so that you would need less "cover ups".

Rejuvenation therapy

Purva karma and pancha karma are very important ayurvedic cleansing treatments. The goal of these treatments is to remove all the impurities of the body, so that the body would be gotten rid of the illnesses it had or were about to manifest. Also, when the body is completely clean inside and outside, it can get the full benefit from nourishing.

The nourishing treatments are also described in detail. Different types of oils and herbal supplements are listed in this chapter.

Another massage section

The Ayurvedic Beauty Care book offers various massage techniques for different parts of the body, together with the relevant oils. There are pictures and clear drawings provided to make it easy for you to do your own massage, or massage someone else in an effective way.

Unusual treatments

In the final chapter of the Ayurvedic Beauty Care book some unusual treatments are described. They are unusual in the West, but these treatments are widely known in the East.

For example in Netra Basti treatment, a warmed butter is poured over an open eye. This is claimed to improve the eyesight and the general condition of the eyes (e.g. it makes the eyes brighter).

Another interesting treatment is called "Shiro Dhara", which is running a stream of warm sesame oil onto the third eye area. This is supposed to affect certain brain centers to give you a feeling of pleasure and relaxation. It removes pain and stress particularly in the neck and head areas.

There are other interesting treatments described in this last section.

My opinion about the Ayurvedic Beauty Care book

I should admit that I loved the book. Rarely do I keep the books for reference, but this book is still with me because of the essential oils chart, great natural shampoo recipes as well as the tips for facial care.

I recommend the Ayurvedic Beauty Care book for anyone who wants to improve their inner and outer beauty. It's written in an easy to understand manner and many tips in the book are extremely effective.

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This book is interesting but you would have to spend a fortune trying to buy everything just make a face wash.

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To all who are interested in Ayurvedic medicine and who want to find out where true beauty comes from....read this book. It contains very important information as far as health and how it relates to beauty. A masterpiece!!!!

JFE

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I liked the overview on Ayurveda and natural beauty, but what I found lacking was the specific remedies for certain conditions. You will need to do further research to find these.

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The Seasonal Detox Diet: Remedies from the Ancient Cookfire

This book has been a treasured guide of mine for several years now, and I recently purchased my 3rd copy! Not only is it filled with important facts on how to nourish your body's needs according to the seasonal changes, it also includes delicious recipes that have become staples in my kitchen. Each season is represented with two chapters. The first chapter focuses on detox diets that target specific body parts, and suggests specific foods for creating health in that particular part of the body. The second chapter lists all of the foods that are available during the particular season, and recipes for including them in your diet. If you like to care for your body, enjoy shopping at the farmer's market, and love to be in your kitchen this book will be one you will have forever! Nothing in the book is extreme, it is all focused on using what nature provides us according to each season to create a healthier you! Buy it, read it, and get well!

This is a one of a kind book, very special that prepares you for the next season. It is about adjusting your body with the right foods so that you can prevent illness and other maladies, say for instance in the Winter, colds and flu. Also has the best information on fasting and the teas you would make to drink during these fasts, and how to break them. I have personally fasted with these teas and made it to 6 days and felt really wonderful, cleansed and renewed. I highly recommend this unique book, you will not be dissapointed.

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The other reviewers describe this book well. I have collected natural health books for over 35 years. Been using this one for about 9 years now There are quite a few health books that have served me well. Of those, this book is my favorite.

So many people still have a pills and potion concept about health, which is why so many "health food" stores limit their stock to pills and potions. This is not a book for those people. This is a book for people who want to cultivate healthy habits and reap the benefits. It is the best guide to eradicating parasites that I have ever seen. No expensive packaged pills and potions necesarry. Of course, it is so much more. A great gift to yourself and anyone interested in natural health, novice or experienced.

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I loved reading this book, from beginning to end. It's filled with common sense wisdom, great recipes, and an entertaining subplot about how the author overcame her own health problems by detoxifying her body. The big take-away I got from it is that a clean body can better absorb nutrients from food, and that certain weather seasons call for the detoxification of specific internal organs in order to maintain optimum health throughout the year. Those who practice tai chi, Taoism or Chinese medicine such as acupuncture will easily recognize references to the importance of balancing yin and yang energies in the body, but even those who are unfamiliar with Eastern medicine and philosophy will benefit from the wealth of information in this book. It makes New Agey ideas such as colonics and juicing far less scary and much more accessible.

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I bought it but didn't know how to start or do a detox. This book tells you all you need to know to start and continue

doing a detox program for years I have it for almost 5 years and I love it.

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Shock

As a psychotherapist and a woman who has experienced clinical depression myself, I found this book of immense value to recommend to others who may seek the relief afforded by the newer and much improved unilateral shock treatments (ECT), originally pioneered by Italian physician Ugo Cerletti (1877-1963).

In alternating chapters, Kitty Dukakis (the former Katharine Dickson, b. 1936, daughter of Boston Pops' director) writes her candid accounts of the treatment that saved her life, while journalist Larry Tye discusses the historic evolution of the treatment, which includes other desperate measures throughout history to help people suffering from mental illness. His thorough reporting makes for excellent though often gruesome reading.

Kitty herself is a marvel. The mother of three adoring children and wife of former Mass. governor Michael Dukakis, she suffered from an underlying depression, later diagnosed as bipolar disorder, since a teen, when, like her mother, she popped diet pills as if they were candy. Later on, she became an alcoholic, hiding her bottles from her family, as do many alcoholics.

With amazing candor that is certain to help others, she shares the steps of her recovery that include the unconditional support and asking of the right questions of her wonderful family. Currently, Kitty, at age 69, is on no medication for her depression, but has regular ECT every 8 or so months, under the care of her longtime trusted physician at Mass. General Hospital.

No one truly knows why ECT works. Writes Kitty, "I used to deny when a depressive episode was coming... I knew how much it would hurt, how long the darkness would last.... Now I know there is something that will work and work quickly."

When her husband lost his 1988 Presidential bid, Kitty admitted publicly about her depression and checked into a hospital. She received a beautiful note from Betty Ford, who suffered from the same condition.

This is a wonderful book that gives the depression sufferer exactly what they need: information and hope. It belongs on the shelves of local libraries and in the offices of mental health agencies. A helpful Epilogue is included at the end, including a note on "How to plan for memory loss."

Again, the treatment has far advanced from its earlier days and should be considered in treatment-resistant cases, where its amazing success rate is between 80 and 90 percent.

In 1995 my husband had exhausted all traditional treatments for depression. The Duke neurologists sent us to Menninger in Topeka, KS for ECT. My husband had 15 treatments. He left the hospital the week after his last treatment. (He was a retired Executive who had become catatonic in his depressive-state). He then began living again...He returned to his Gentleman's Farm in North Carolina and re-took the reigns. He had more energy than I did, and I was 30 years younger...

Six years later I became depressed. I had had a front-seat observatory of my husband's success and asked my Ft. Lauderdale psychiatrist for "the treatment". Fortunately my doctor was the only doctor practicing in Ft. Lauderdale who used ECT.

He made me wait one full year to be sure I truly wanted ECT. Kitty discusses withdrawing from all medication before the treatment can begin. That is what I experienced. She gives you the play-by-play. You know what to expect from her experiences.

After 5 treatments, I went home and spent a week in the sun. The next week I began working full-time. That was the first time I had worked outside the home in 15 years. I was a productive member of society again. I smiled all day...My life had been returned to me.

I commend Kitty for her bravery. She has tackled a subject shrouded in secrecy, mystery and old myths. She makes the treatment embraceable. Her descriptions are on the money. Her experiences guide us. Gone are the days of "One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest" depravity. Thanks to her directness, middle-America now has access to another treatment for this horrible disease.

"Shock" is a great read. Kitty creates a text of what my friends and family needed to know in words far more eloquent than mine. This book is educational and filled with cutting-edge information. It SHOULD be read by anyone who ever suffered from depression. And, it WOULD be a great gift to anyone still suffering. It SHOULD be in the library of anyone who has ever had the treatment.

Kitty has created a venue for discussion of Shock Treatment, a subject hushed out of parlors for too many years. In her bravery, she offers straightforward candor and then proves to be an inspiration to all of us. I only wish she had written this book many years earlier.

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Excellent book. Ms. Dukakis was very brave to share her story. I related to so much of her story. Unfortunately for me, electroconvulsive therapy did not work for me.

What finally did work? An out-patient procedure called vagus nerve stimulation. It saved my life. I would recommend a great book about this new FDA approved therapy "Out of the Black Hole: The Patient's Guide to Vagus Nerve Stimulation and Depression." Depression is truely a "black hole" and thankfully I have been out of the "black hole" for over a year.

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This book is a great "primer" on electroconvulsive therapy. Mrs. Dukakis' personal story helps the reader be less fearful of shock treatments. I have also read another great book about a new FDA approved therapy for depression called "Out of the Black Hole: The Patient's Guide to Vagus Nerve Stimulation and Depression" by Charles E. Donovan with inspiring forwards by John Zakecka, M.D. of Rush Medical and Nancy Williger, Ph.D.

The more weapons we have to fight this dreadful disease the better. Many thanks to Mrs. Dukakis.

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My Psychiatrist mentioned ECT Treatments some time ago and I immediately dismissed the suggestion based on my ignorance of it. I was uninformed and afraid of it. But, after reading this book, I'm going to bring up the subject of ECT Treatments next session. I don't know what will happen, but ECT is now an option for me to at least seriously consider.

By the way, I really liked the format the authors used alternating chapters. I wish other medical books were written in a similar fashion. Thank you to both authors for having the courage to write such a wonderful book. Believe me when I tell you, I know how much anti-psychiatry sentiment is in the world. It troubles me, but I can understand when survivors speak out. Mental Illness is so very difficult in so many ways.

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