Frena Gray-Davidson is the ultimate "been there, done that" person in Alzheimer's care. Her book is a support group that can always be with you, ready to speak to the issues that concern you now and prepare you for what is likely to concern you in the future. All parts of this book will help you meet the challenges of dementia care, however several chapters are of special value. Chapter 2, Before Diagnosis and chapter 4, Family Crisis Alzheimer's Style guide families in the early stages of the disease. Chapter 11, Knowing When To Let Go, answers some of the tough questions about placement in a care facility. The final chapter, Moving On, gives guidance for that time when caregiving is no longer the top priority. In keeping with her theme not to lose the person in the process of coping with the disease, Ms. Gray-Davidson leads us away from using psychiatric terms to label behaviors and thought patterns which result from diminishing cognitive ability. She explains what may look like paranoia as "a reasonable fear response, given the limitations of the disease." She makes what is often labeled delusional thinking easier to understand as "memory which has drifted into some point in the past." She writes with compassion and humor, creating therapy for the caregiver and family members. The book is interesting to read and easy to understand. As a Geriatric Care Consultant, I have often loaned my copy of The Alzheimer's Sourcebook for Caregivers to my clients. Most of them return it with the comment that they have purchased copies for themselves and for family members. This started with the 1st edition and is continuing with the 3rd. I can make no higher recommendation.
Finally, a practical, no nonsense and deeply compassionate book tells us the truth about what is and what is not realistic in living with and dealing with Alzheimer's. Gray-Davidson understands the problems, challenges and concerns of caregivers, clearly loves working with people with dementia and knows how to interpret their confused attempts to live meaningfully. She has deep respect for the Inner Journey, and not so much for the medical myths and those who add despair to the world by depicting Alzheimer's as a tragedy.
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This is a tremendous resource for people who believe in the healing power of Love. Frena Gray Davidson has written a very spiritually centered book that will inevitably help any caregiver and their loved one.
She speaks about how we'll see the "divine child" untouched by darkness or sickness our loved one emerge in this process. And she states that we must listen to the feeling behind the words. That little statement has changed my life. When someone asks for their mother, who may have passed on decades earlier, they're really seeking comfort and security and reassurance. We need to hear their feelings that lie in back of their words.
She goes on to say that 30% of language is verbal, the rest is expressed in body language and behavior.
Further on she makes the observation that Alzheimer's patients are sensitive to the thoughts of those around them and to always give plenty of Love, both in word, action and thought.
She states that "unconditional Love is not a measure, it is a flow. You cannot give it or get it, you can only be part of it. When you love a person with Alzheimers, clarity and awareness come to that person." [p149]
The other wonderful point she makes is that so much of our disappointment in Alzheimers patients is tied to our notion of their "proper" mortal identity. Your mother doesn't know she's your mother anymore, but you can value and cherish who she is in the here and now. Don't live in the past but nurture the childlike qualities she is expressing in the present.
Tons of good advice. The other book I'd recommend for anyone dealing with Alzheimers is "Science and Health with key to the Scriptures" by M. B. Eddy. It is a terrific sourcebook on powerful prayers that heal and restore. It is the "how-to" book of prayer.
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This is the book that changed everything for me. Its about approaching this disease with Love, Strength and Courage.
Frena shows you how to get thru a day at a time and most of all how to keep yourself intact. We get lost in this disease, it consumes whole families. She shows you how to listen, your loved one is still within this person afflicted by this disease,you just have to listen carefully and you will see the person you love is still inside and has alot to tell.She shows you how to cope. Frena is my strength, she gave me the tools from reading her book 3 years ago. This book is my foundation and Frena is an angel. No other book affected me as much as this one. If you want to truly understand this disease, this is it!
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For anyone with a loved one suffering with Alzheimer's this is the book to get. It will help you understand the disease and how to cope. Written in everyday language it is packed with information on the stages these victims go through and how you can help them. One of the best I've read!
This beautiful book captures the soul of touch. In my work as a massage therapist with hospice and elderly patients, I return to it again and again. It's the book I show others who may be interested. But more than this; it deepens my practice with all clients; and in its resonance with
