How often has illness in oneself inspired action rather than revolt? "When Can I Go Home?" by Joseph J. Sivak is a prime example of just that scenario. Having had to take the reins of running a household and caring for an afflicted parent at the tender age of seventeen, Joseph had to grow up rather quickly. He witnessed firsthand the havoc that Alzheimer's can wreak on the mind of one he held very close to his heart....his own mother. Seeing the disease up close and personal moved this young man so deeply, he chose a career path that would not only put him in contact with this and other ailments like it for the rest of his days, but also offer the chance to help lessen its effects for future "victims"; he became a doctor.This is a firsthand account of the disease that is Alzheimer's and its debilitating effects on the patient as well as they're family. This is also a story of hope and proactive action to help others goings through similar situations reach a better understanding of what is happening and ways in which to cope. Recommended reading for people in both situations as a reminder that they are not alone in their fight.....
ISBN: 978-0-615-31489-1
Publisher: Niagara Press
Joseph J. Sivak's When Can I Go home is an exceptional memoir written with abundance of warmth and dramatic power that will keep you continually captivated until its final chapter. It is a far cry from the many mundane books concerning Alzheimer's disease, as it avoids dwelling on the technical aspects of this dreaded and incurable disease. Rather, it presents a poignant narrative of the author's agonizing journey as a caregiver at the age of seventeen, when his sixty-two year old mother was diagnosed in 1979 with Alzheimer's-an era when most people never even heard of the disease.
Dr. Sivak points out the parent-child roles were reversedit all seemed surreal. It was as if his life was de-railed from the one he had planned to travel as a teenager. He was picked off his own train tracks and placed into a new setting. He states: "The confusing emotions associated with caring for my mother seemed to tear me into different pieces. Part of me was the child wanting his mother, part was angry and trapped and just wanted to grow up, while another part was the emerging compassionate caregiver." In passing, his mother's diagnosis occurred one year after he had lost his father, making it even more difficult for him to accept and process. Nonetheless, he managed to continue to move on, and his experiences would eventually serve as a touchstone when he became a Psychiatrist, later in life. His anger, frustration and eventual helplessness that emerged from feeling trapped were paired together with and perhaps partially alleviated by his emerging compassion and his development of his personality into that of a caregiver. He recounts that his chosen profession as a psychiatrist and the work he does everyday became a benchmark and symbol for the development and refinement of his compassion. As a side note, Dr. Sivak mentions that ironically the very thing that disciplined him and spurred him to work hard during his pre-med student days and subsequent acceptance into medical school was his mother's illness. And his acting as a caregiver to his mother, which he describes as his principal extracurricular activity, probably turned the tide in his favor in being accepted into medical school over many other well-qualified students.
Interwoven into this extraordinary book is Dr. Sivak's professional experiences as a psychiatrist concerning individuals confronted with Alzheimer's disease, either as a patient or caregiver. He reminds us that it is not an easy task to walk the line of educator, mentor, advocate and guide. Brought to light are the multitude of sticky and demanding issues that physicians face when making a diagnosis of Alzheimer. As he spells out, it is essential to know, provide, translate and break down all the data patients share with you, what they need and want. And in the final analysis help them decide what is in their best interest. Many times there exists a high emotional level of family members when they are informed that a loved one has this incurable disease, frequently leading to displaced anger on the physician. Another challenge is that physicians must be very cautious not to say the wrong thing or say the right thing in the wrong way. As clarified: "Such concepts as giving up driving entering a nursing home, and even making a possible diagnosis must be approached gingerly. Every patient and every family possesses and handles information differently."
When Can I Go Home is an emotionally charged and unique moving journey, wherein the author narrates a finely tuned story in a voice that blends two perspectives; one that portrays a young lad burdened with the task of caring for his mother with an incurable disease, the other, this same individual, acting as a physician called upon to treat countless victims of Alzheimer's, as well as other mental diseases.
Perhaps, someday this disease will be conquered. Until then, and as Dr. Sivak elegantly summarizes, "if you are caring for a loved one with the disorder, then love them, and love them more each day, as if they were your infant or child. No one deserves this illness, no family deserves the devastation." Just as we are human beings with emotions and spirits, so are your loved ones, even though they may be afflicted by Alzheimer's.
Joseph J. Sivak MD, is a board certified adult psychiatrist with over twenty years of experience in direct patient care. He has taught and lectured in the USA and elsewhere in the areas of Post Traumatic Street Disorder, Mood disorders, and chronic suicidal ideation. He is a graduate of Hahnemann University School of Medicine in Philadelphia, and he did his residency training at the University of Rochester. He has also hosted a weekly mental health Radio Program for eight years. Presently, he serves on the legislative committee of the Minnesota Medical Association and he is also a professor at the University of Minnesota-Duluth College of Pharmacy.
Norm Goldman, Publisher & Editor of BookpleasuresJoseph J. Sivak creates a powerful book "When Can I go Home." This book spoke to me on such a personal level. My grandmother has this awful disease and I have watched my Mother struggle to help her. The question she asks most often is "When Can I Go Home?" The topic and title immediately drew me in. Sivak is a strong writer that is able to convey emotion on a very strong level. This book is about a 17 year old boy who must not only accept his mother has this awful disease but he must be her caregiver as well. I felt so bad for him because I can't imagine how hard it would be to deal with the loss of your mother as you know her and care for this new confused person. The author shows the power of love through this caring son. This book also teaches a lot about the disease and contains medical perspectives and information. I highly suggest that anyone dealing with alzhimers pick up a copy of this book.
Read Best Reviews of When Can I Go Home? Here
Moms are the people, we as children come to believe as "the rocks" of the home. They are the people who provide us the love, support and emotional salvation when we need it to take care of the problems of our youth. What happens when this is taken from you as a teenager and the other family members around are too clinical to remind themselves what it was like to be a kid again? Not everything can be written on a document and stated this is the way it will be and then move on to handle the outcome.There has to be time for all the emotions to come through and a chance for them to be worked out. In this story "When Can I Go Home" by Joseph J. Sivak, who loses his father at the age of sixteen to find out his mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's at the age of seventeen can become a little overwhelming. Even if there are five other siblings in the family, he was still alone within himself and this struggle of trying to figure things out. This book is his journey, his thoughts, how he made it through and in the end his success story of how he found his way. This is not a book for the weak and it will make you think. There are so many people today that are in reversed roles, children taking care of their parents.
Knowing that you are not alone, having the knowledge of support centers and people to talk to are more available now than what was available in the past. You always hear that everyone has their own cross to bear, but when it is your mother, your father, your wife, your child or even a close loved one then you are also losing part of your support system to help you. I'm glad they author was able to share his story. Others will enjoy reading this man's journey as much as I did. I am sure today he is a much better doctor because of his experiences.
Want When Can I Go Home? Discount?
Alzheimer's can change everyone's life when it affects you personally and is living with you in your home taking over someone you love. Is it because we have to adapt to the person and how they are acting with the disease or is it because we feel that we have to learn and know so much about it so we can help the person affected so we can provide them everything they need? How can not affect everyone's childhood and living arrangements? Someone always has to be there to help provide coverage. Your duties are outlined and you are only a child. "When Can I Go Home?" by Joseph J. Sivak is a book that reveals his mother who suffers from Alzheimer's and how he has to help with her care. The author tells of his journey, he just loses his dad and a year later find himself in a care giver role at the age of seventeen when he should be figuring things out for himself. The underlying message I saw being in a similar situation was that this was a role that was preparing him for his future and was helping him figure it out, but it was the hard way. If you would like to read about a journey and all the pressure points and glory a family can hold through such a wicked disease then pick up this book. It will give you an unexpected perspective of how we cannot always control the things we want but do the best we can with what we have. This is a very good book and you will enjoy reading it.Save 34% Off
