Alzheimer's 911: Help, Hope, and Healing for the Caregivers

I have run an Alzheimer's Support Group for Caregivers for over 13 years and I bought this book for my group. I think it is one of the best books I have passed out because it is geared towards helping and advising the caregiver on how to take care of themselves not just their carepartner. That is a VERY important subject for caregivers!!!!!! I highly recommend it for any caregiver!! Jackie Baldwin

When a member of my family was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I thought I would be prepared. After all, I worked as a professional in the field and had shelves upon shelves of books on the subject. In the end, I was well informed but completely under whelmed. Was there nothing to hope for? No way to ever connect? Would every day be an uphill battle and a downhill journey? Not so, says the author of Alzheimer's 911. This book takes the glass half empty feeling and fills it to the top. Flowing over with wisdom and humor, the author guides the reader step by step to discover the unimaginable, a silver lining in the cloud of this disease. Finally, a book I could use and recommend.

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I just took my 88-year-old mother into my home. She has been diagnosed with dementia. When I was reading Alzheimer's 911, I kept running across behaviors my mother exhibits and getting "Ah-ha" moments. Then Frena Gray-Davidson had concrete suggestions regarding what to do. I especially like the advice on nutrition. And the book is full of so much love. You can tell she has really been in the trenches with elderly folks with dementia. She isn't just professorial or medical or "professional". That's not what you need when you are working with someone who is experiencing the world almost entirely on an emotional level. Medically oriented writers aren't going to tell you to say, "Let's go eat cookies," to your mom when she is upset, but I tried it and it worked. When "the towels are too thick" is a matter of major importance in your life because you mom with dementia hates them and you are running all over town looking for thin ones (thank you dollar stores), you need down to earth advice. Down to earth advice is all you will get in Alzheimer's 911. I would compare it to the book "What to Expect When You are Expecting" which was my pregnancy bible. Sometimes you just need someone to tell you what to do.

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I come from working in the world of severe mental illness. When the author of this book pointed out that everyone with dementia does it in his or her own unique way, I knew she was on the right track. In my field a label of "schizophrenia" helped no one make sense of the psychotic process. Learning to walk in the person's world with them did. I can see that knowing the medical facts of Alzheimer's has little to do with understanding a person's soul journey. It seems Gray-Davidson knows a great deal about caring for the hurting heart of a person living more and more away from our ordinary reality, in this case with Alzheimer's. The people who care for others, in my field or hers, need most to know about how to do this. The afflicted person is very, very lonely and it is the caregiver who is willing to learn the ways of patience and understanding and entering into this new world that can really make a difference. Gray-Davidson provides a wonderful guide through the challenges of Alzheimer's caregiving. A wise book.

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Not recommended shallow advice, and most alarmingly treats dementia as a process that "allows elders to do the important work of processing their oldest memories and conflicts".

She barely acknowledges the well-documented fact that dementia results from progressive brain damage the eventual loss of a quarter or even a third or more of brain tissue, a loss which can be easily seen even by laypeople through diagnostic imaging.

Specifically:

1) She treats serious issues casually. She says, for example, that "agitation never killed anyone" and that caregivers should just wait it out if they can't soothe or distract the person. Well, the intense agitation that often accompanies dementia is pure emotional misery for the loved one who experiences it. Emotional pain should be treated as seriously as physical pain. Distraction and soothing often don't help at all. Very small doses of psychiatric meds often help return quality of life to our family members with very low risk of side effects.

2) She plays amateur psychologist. "Most people with dementia about 90%" had terrible childhoods". Huh? Are we to believe that a traumatic childhood event planted some kind of time-release brain damage that suddenly emerges, oh, seventy or eighty years later. This is patently absurd. We would never assert that people with cancer had traumatic childhoods. (and of course, this conveniently ignores early onset dementia's documented genetic links!)

3) She treats delusions as reality. She seems to believe that dementia results in "recovered memories" of abuse and other awful experiences, rather than recognizing them as the delusions (rigidly held false beliefs) that they are. For example, my own mother believes that she has been physically attacked except that I know with certainty that it never, ever happened. Delusions like these are usually very upsetting to people with dementia, but can be easily controlled in most folks with very small doses of medication unless you believe like this author that such memories are real, and therefore allow your loved one to continually become upset about these terrible "events" that they keep "processing."

4) Her "practical advice" is incredibly superficial. She brushes over the incredibly challenging and intense behaviors that many people with dementia exhibit and offers few specific tips. Bathing, clothing, toileting and incontinence, suspicion, paranoia and many more agonizing behaviors all brushed over lightly with the suggestion that these things are easy to deal with except that caregivers are "notably unwilling" to learn new approaches.

That conclusion would come as a shock to the millions of devoted caregivers out there who DO reach out for help, desperately looked for better ideas and specific suggestions, trying everything they can think of to help their loved ones.

I could go on, but I won't.

Instead, try "Learning to Speak Alzheimers" or check the very active and helpful message boards hosted by the Alzheimer's Association.

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