While these 6 inch thick bridal magazines have ideas on wedding gowns, honeymoon locales, and bridesmaid dresses, this book is wonderful for the emotional changes that will take place as you prepare for your wedding. For me the single most valuable aspect of this book is that it is *validating*that I'm not the only one who has experienced lows during this "happiest" time in my life. Through the use of other brides' experiences and quotes, this book validates the losses (e.g., place of Dad in your life), the fear of changes (loss of name, loss of single independence), the disappointments (the ring, the proposal, the absence of deceased loved ones), and generally the feeling of being overwhelmed by the giant Wedding Creature that seems to overtake your life. I didn't really get "advice" per se out of this bookmostly just the feeling that I'm not alone and weird if I experience a negative emotion as a I plan and anticipate my wedding. I don't really need adviceI just wanted to hear I wasn't alone.As other reviewers have pointed out, the author does talk about losing one's "maidenhead" and the author does have a tendency to relate things to mythology. While another reviewer had a problem with the maidenhead sectionI really didn't. For example, the author relates part of "maidenhead" to the loss (or potential loss) of one's maiden name. I'm an older (31) professional (Ph.D.) bride, and I've struggled with the loss of my maiden name and my identity (and whether I want to lose my name at all). The author even indicates that older brides may have bigger problem giving up a name that they've had, identified with, and used professionally for so long. She also discussed the loss of life as a single woman, which is a huge deal the longer you are one.
In short: I personally don't believe that this book is limited to younger brides. I've got my own house and live in a different time zone from my parents, but I am still experiencing some of these issues discussed in the book. But all you've got are two different opinions from two different Amazon reviewers that you don't know from sticks on the ground.
The use of mythology didn't do much for me, but perhaps others might relate to it as a way of making one of the author's points more clear.
Did I relate to absolutely *everything* in the book? Of course notbut could I expect to? (For example, my mom has been wonderful and very unpushyso the parts dealing with pushy moms aren't really my deal). Overall, I highly recommend this book. And look: Given all the ridiculous amounts of money brides spend on those big fat bridal magazines that have all the same advertisements in themjust put down one of them, get this book, and see if it does anything for you.
Some of the things I could do without in the book: the frequent references to mythology and the way the author seemed to imply that in some ways you would become different after the wedding...(I am almost tempted to encourage brides to read this book well after their wedding for that reason).
A great self-help bridal book to help deal with the roller coaster of feelings, emotions, and changing states of mind of the bride.I was married recently at age 31 and while I was planning the wedding I was disappointed that so much planning time goes into the dress, and resgistry, and flowers, and, and, and... I enjoyed it but felt something was "missing". Luckily 3 weeks before our big day my girlfriend gave me this wonderful book. It refocused me on what matters. I read it practically cover to cover in one sitting. It describes all the EMOTIONAL adjustments you make -and aren't really given an outlet for in the frenzy of wedding planning. I feel like I appreciated my wedding day so much more because I read this book.
A great engagement (or post-wedding) gift to yourself and your fiance, or to a friend who is getting married. My now-husband found it very interesting too in order to better understand what was going on in my head.I LOVE THIS BOOK! I got married in October 2003. I recommend this book to any bride with self-awareness/insight and an interest in going through the insane wedding planning process with integrity and as much wholeness as one can muster. The BEST things I got out of The Conscious Bride were these:
1)Validation and guidence for my often not so pretty/complicated feelings that were coming up before the wedding about myself/my finacee/my parents -all of it!
2) a model for how to have a meaningful rather than just a materialistic bridal shower (In the end, I chose both!)
3) a guide for how to conduct myself on the day itself.
Because I studied the chapters "Has everyone gone Mad?" and "The Wedding Day" I was clear that -of course --things go wrong. So when they did, I laughed! I was totally serene on my wedding day and I attribute a lot of it to the inner work I did before hand that The Conscious Bride encouraged, unlike any other book I found (Except: On the Way to the Wedding by Linda S. Leonard). This book helped shatter the illusion of perfection that sets up paralysis and inevitable dissapointment.
It encourages brides to embrace their own humanity and the humanity of everyone around them and thereby create the space for truely having a great, whole day. I drank up every chapter and was deeply grateful The Conscious Bride was given to me because I found it hard to find that psychologically aware, sane, realistic, humane message in many other places.
P.S. One confusing thing is that the Book is By Sheryl Nissinen but the Amazon page calls her Sheryl Paul.This book was kinda strange. I was put off by the language which seemed to me to have very feminist undertones, and yet seemed to perpetuate gender inequality. E.g. it talked about women 'giving everything up' when they get married, but men gaining. I wouldn't reccommend it.
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