Anne Clinard Barnhill, born in 1952 relates the story of her life as sister to Becky, who was born 1/31/58. Becky displayed autistic behavior almost from infancy. She became continent at 4; was marginally verbal for the first few years of her life; communicated by phrasing her statements as questions, e.g. "Does the Becky want to eat? Why can't the Becky learn at home?" Anne, 6 years her sister's senior took Becky under her wing and was lovingly protective of her. She even spent her summers working with Becky on cognitive skills.
Sadly, precious little was known about autism in those days. Becky was erroneously labled as "emotionally disturbed" and even retarded. Sadly, this was not uncommon back then. Becky's schooling was also a problem in 1965, she was expelled for disruptive behavior from one special needs class in West Virginia and saw a therapist. One group home refused to take her until she became fully self-sufficient in toileting. Although continent and reliable, Becky still needed help cleaning up. Once she mastered that skill, Pressley House, a group home/school was willing to accept her after placing her on a waiting list.
On October 1, 1966 the Clinards took Becky to Amos Cottage, which was an interim placement. Becky served 9 months in Amos Cottage which sounded like a genuine hellhole. Nurses ran the place and the lowest functioning children were kept in crib-cages with bars across the top. Becky talked of the "water babies in the basement," which sounded like she meant children with hydrocephalus. She was able to describe Amos Cottage, which sounded horrible. The Clinards were horrified by the place as anyone would be, but sadly there was no other place forthcoming for Becky.
In June of 1967 after a nearly 9-month sentence in Amos House, Becky enjoyed the annual family camping trip; had fun dodging her sister and sneaking off to the pool which was verboten and in general loving the outdoors. Despite many of her unexplainable behaviors, Anne remains loving and tolerant of Becky. I like that.
Becky's behavior remains severely autistic. She pulls dolls apart until they are limbless and headless; she flips any object in her path and she gives her sister the nickname "Jet," explaining that she thinks Anne's face is jet-plane shaped. (Kind of makes you think of Paul McCartney & Wings' song, "Jet.")
Anne talks about her own milestones; her love of the Beatles whom she discovered in late 1963; her boyfriends; her schools; her crushes; her peers and how they all related to Becky. I like the way she describes her response to the events of the day, e.g. Viet Nam War (she had classmates and friends who were drafted); hippies and the music and the family Ford Galaxie, a singularly cool car. One funny story involves how Anne and her friends got stuck in that Ford and rescued it, with great music from 1968 as the soundtrack.
Anne introduces readers to her family. Readers are treated to both sets of grandparents, aunts and cousins as well. One of my favorite parts was when the girls' mother would sing Beatle songs and emphasize the "yeah, yeah, yeah" chorus in the 1963 classic, "She Loves You." It just goes to show you that nobody could dodge that Beatle influence! Becky's classmates wanted her to choose Beatle songs for her ballet recital. The Beatles remain a comforting presence throughout the book.
Despite their vastly different needs and personalities, the sisters really do, as the Beatles said, "Come Together." Readers get to follow Anne down her growing up years and experience into adulthood; at the same time readers follow Becky's progress as well. Becky weathers some major storms, including abuse at a group home when she was 9-11.
Becky's sentence at Pressley House ended in 1971. Then 13, she went onto a special program at the local high school and secured a diploma in 1979 for merely attending. She worked at area sheltered workshops before she entered a group home in 1990 at age 32.
Readers get to cheer Anne's successes as well; a successful second marriage; a blessing of 3 sons; her degrees and her courage and candor in sharing her life and that of her immediate family. Readers are encouraged by Becky's progress as well. Their story has helped lift the Dark Curtain of the Dark Ages that acted as a barrier towards appropriate placement and diagnosis for people with autism. Sadly, few options existed in those days.
In addition to the Beatle parts which I readily identified with and understood, I like the way Anne Clinard Hill opens each chapter with a passage from "The Wizard of Oz." This classic is one she and Becky have loved over the decades and do to this day.
This book makes me think of the song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" from "The Wizard of Oz." Readers cannot help but think that in time the Path to Acceptance and recognition of autism is closer than over that rainbow and is tangible, not illusive. I am one of the people who thinks that. I like the way Becky accepts herself as well and I think this is one of the best books I have ever read about a sibling who has autism.
This book explores the often unnoticed side of being a so-called 'normal' (or 'neurotypical') person who loves someone with a mental disorder, namely autism. I found this memoir refreshing in the way that it unapologetically gives voice to those of us on the other side of the coin--those of us who have done our best to stretch our love outside of the box by often putting our own needs on hold to be good family. This book will especially appeal to baby boomers who have grown up with autistic siblings during a time when the disorder was still unnamed, as it addresses the historically inaccurate 'parental blame' theory of the disorder's etiology. I would recommend this book to anyone who has been touched by someone with a mental disorder, and anyone who considers themselves an advocate for the mentally ill.
Buy At Home in the Land of Oz: Autism, My Sister, and Me Now
In this poignant memoir, Anne Barnhill explores the importance of home and family. Despite living with a sister who is considered to be "different" by society, the author reveals how she and her family grew closer through caring for and mentoring "different" Becky. As society dictated at the time (during the 1960's), at first the autistic little girl was put away in a home, as her sister watched and cried. Later, fortunately, Becky, came home again. She didn't need the aid of chicking her heels. The love of family gave her the rainbow she needed.
In the author's lyrical account, the Barnhill family learns to value Becky for herself, rejoicing in her accomplishments. The possibilities for Becky, as well as others with autism, are now limitless.
Everyone with a family member who is considered "different" should read this lyrical tale. The lesson here is that loving someone "different" touches the heart in new and extraordinary ways. Once you complete this fine book, filled with humor and pathos, you'll become a fan of author Barnhill and root for her sister Becky.
Read Best Reviews of At Home in the Land of Oz: Autism, My Sister, and Me Here
Anne Barnhill's memoir, At Home in the Land of Oz, deserves far more press than it has received. The book describes in unusual detail the trials, tribulations and warm, loving times that her family experienced as they helped to understand her unusual sister. Only in recent years was an accurate diagnosis of autism given. Saddled with the feeling that somehow they weren't doing enough for their "emotionally disturbed" daughter, Anne describes how the family adjusted, worked, and strived to help her sister be normal. At times embarrassed by inappropriate behavior and at other times protective and outraged at inappropriate reactions to her sister from others, Anne tells us how she always wanted a family that was "just normal." The underlying question evolves, just what is "normal" after all. I give this book five stars and recommend it highly, not only to families struggling with members who live outside the boundaries of acceptable behavior, but for those of us who want to understand how we can be better neighbors.
Want At Home in the Land of Oz: Autism, My Sister, and Me Discount?
This memoir of a sister of an autistic is a good read for anyone touched in anyway by autism or by a family member with differences. Anne Barnhill's sister was born in the 50's when autism was a mysterious ailment and families were left to flounder helplessly. The author's perspective of growing up with a sister who was so "different" touched my heart. She is ruthlessly honest about her moments of wanting to belong with the cool kids at school and having to cope with them finding out or seeing her sister with her odd way of talking and hand-flipping. Her anguish when her sister had "melt-downs" in public can be felt by everyone. The parts of the memoir where the author believes she herself might start doing odd things is something seen in families of anyone with a so-called mental problem. And the quotes from letters her proud father wrote trying to get public financial support when her sister needed to be in an institution for training are heart-breaking. But the most touching parts are when the author realizes that her love for her sister triumphs over everything else. Her sister is currently in an adult program and doing well. I can recommend this book as a read for families with autism or mental illness.
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