Hooray! The second edition of this first-of-its-kind book has even more useful information and is totally up-to-date. The best thing about it is still the author's voice, which is strong and supportive -and funny -on every page. This book is infused with the wisdom of someone who's been through it all, back when there weren't any books about it, and is eager to shepherd others through the process. Equally encouraging are the many quotes from other dyke mamas (and mamas-to-be) describing their own experiences, from the justthinking-about-it stage to actually giving birth.
Some questions this book will help you think through: am I (are we) ready for kids? can I do it alone? how to choose a donor? what is it like, trying to get pregnant? what are my options if I don't get pregnant quickly? how will I handle being pregnant? what kind of birth do I hope for? what is it like for the non-bio mom? and what kind of family will we be in those early days?
In each case the author doesn't tell you what to do, but helps you figure out what YOU want to do. She clearly has her own preferences -unmedicated birth is best; circumcision sucks; breastfeeding rocks! -but they are carefully argued, pretty persuasive, and the tone is consistently pro-child and pro-women.
Sensibly, Pepper puts the tough stuff up front: the first chapter is about getting yourself as physically, mentally, financially and legally ready to start a family as you can possibly be. Then it's on to getting the goods, finding out what's going on under the hood, and starting the crazy ride on the conception "rollercoaster." The chapter offering Ten Tips to Keep You Sane during this crazy period is worth the price of the book alone!
These early chapters are the most detailed and probably the ones you'll read over and over, but there are also useful roadmaps to each trimester, as well as a helpful section on sexuality and pregnancy, birth options, and the early weeks with your baby. There's also a comprehensive index and a helpful section on extra resources, from lesbian-friendly sperm banks to useful books to dyke-mama blogs.
In a nice touch, the new edition is dedicated not only to "every lesbian dreaming baby dreams" but also "the many dyke daddies and tranny pops out there." Right on.
As a further bonus, the new cover is gorgeous, as is the photo of the author and her now seven year old daughter -clearly that rollercoaster was worth it! It all adds to the supportive, happy vibe of this indispensable guide to what the author calls "the wacky world of lesbian conception and pregnancy."
Rachel Pepper's new edition of her Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians is a welcomed event. With her clear writing and pull-no-punches style, Rachel takes the mystery and fear out of this amazing and popular process. Lesbians deserve to be spoken to in our own language, and this book is accessible and smart in the best ways. Things I didn't know I didn't know are answered fully, informatively, and often with a lightheartedness that reaches across the page to the reader so we can understand what's going on. I would recommend this book to any single or coupled lesbians who are thinking of embarking on the baby journey.
Buy The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians: How to Stay Sane and Care for Yourself from Pre-concep Now
This is the most extensive pregnancy book for women who have to WORK at getting pregnant rather than starting at the "oops you're pregnant" point. If you're straight but single, lesbian, or partnered to a transman, this book is for you! Ms. Pepper is wonderful at being all-inclusive to all of her readers, including the family and partners of the pregnant woman. The book is positive and upbeat while still being serious and realistic. There is absolutely nothing I would change, add, or take away from this book and is worth keeping at your bedside if you're pregnant or beginning the process.
Read Best Reviews of The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians: How to Stay Sane and Care for Yourself from Pre-concep Here
I'm really surprised at all the glowing reviews of this book! For me, the only thing setting it apart from a million other mediocre pregnancy books is the lesbian perspective, which I do appreciate. Overall, though, I found it pretty fluffy and not entirely reliable. The book gives an overview of numerous topics without providing a lot of detail on very many of them. This author's only qualification seems to be that she is a lesbian who had a baby, and she therefore offers tidbits of sometimes-dubious advice based on her own experience, such as...don't eat broccoli while you are pregnant? My midwife thought that one was hilarious.
I ordered this book along with Stephanie Brill's "New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth," which I found to be MUCH more useful and informative. All of the same topics are covered there, but in more detail and with more authority -Brill is a renowned midwife and educator who has worked extensively with queer families. The Brill book provides WAY more detail and guidance on fertility charting, sperm banks, and insemination methods.
I am giving this book two stars because I think it's really important that there be pregnancy and birth resources geared specifically to queer women, and to the best of my knowledge, there are only really two such books out there. But trust me: The other one is much better.
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As someone who needs "assistance" getting pregnant, I especially appreciated the review of the different options for insemination and frank discussion of the positives and negatives to each. Most pregnancy books presume the reader is already pregnant, whereas the first 75 pages or so of this book are all about the process lesbians and anyone else who's not "getting pregnant the old fashioned way" go through to even get sperm near an egg for conception. A great resource, written by an author who has been there, not a medical establishment or doctor.
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If you are a man who has very little experience buying or wearing clothes--maybe your Mom picked your every outfit and your girlfriend lays out your clothes for you before a big night out--this is a great place to start. It is very basic and general. Illustrations are line drawings, text is simple and straightforward. If you do not know what a houdstooth pattern looks like, this is your book.
