He's a Stud, She's a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know

I'm not being sarcastic at all--I'm a male reader, and I found this book to be REALLY insightful stuff. I also found double-standard #51: that these are double standards that WOMEN should know. Shouldn't men know these too? I mean, I'm trying to raise my two sons with better insights than the blueprint for sexist privilege they are being handed to them every darned DAY, and I want them to see past it. So right there in the title--BAM!--another unintended double-standard. This stuff's just as integral for men to consider.

Jessica Valenti's writing style is snappy, fun to read, and yet very good at disturbing the reader with insights that are dead-on but easily overlooked in our culture. I've followed the feministing website (which Jessica Valenti contributes to) for some time now, and I am constantly fascinated by the sheer amount of research and information that they find. I'm also disheartened by how often her work is dismissed as "thought police" or "hysteria"--but then, that's exactly what she's getting at in this book: male privilege allows (us) men to mouth off on TV, talk radio, and pretty much every other form of media about OUR interests, but women who do the same are labeled "guy bashing" or worse, simply for acting like actually free people. Books like this one are powerful documentaries about that dynamic, which is taken for granted to the point that those who call it out are usually personally scolded for it. All the more reason why Valenti's contribution is integral.

Oh, this is really interesting, to Jessica personally: you know that part where you mentioned seeing your childhood tormentor, Eleena, talking about her own issues on TV? As amazing as this is, I know EXACTLY who you are talking about. I wonder, do you see her on-screen confessional as a sign of hope, or head-smacking "Jeez, how can she not even get this?"

Despite what you may think, this book doesn't just focus on double standards where women get the short end of the stick. It also talks about the crap these double standards cause men. The only critism I can think of is that #46 "He's Childless, She's Selfish" had a title that was misleading. I thought it was going to talk about how childfree women are considered selfish because apparently having kids is the only way women can contribute to society, society doesn't think twice about childfree men. Instead it talked about how single mothers are "selfish." While I agree what she was talking about there, I thought the title was misleading and she should have touched on childfree women as well.

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He's a Stud, She's a Slut was worth the wait. I think Valenti did a much better job with this book than with Full Frontal Feminism and this new book is a lot more approachable for women and men of all ages. Valenti does cover a lot of the more obvious double standards but she also sheds some light on some more pervasive attacks against women and details how some thing which on the surface seemed more geared towards attacking men, also set some unattainable standards for women.

The only real problem I have with this book is the "So... What to do?" section at the end of every chapter basically boils down to "Stop _____. Seriously." I think Valenti could have put more practical solutions to these everyday problems or put in more resources that have some ideas for solutions.

Overall He's a Stud, She's a Slut is great take on sexism and I'll be passing it around to all my friends.

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I honestly enjoyed this book. Having read Valenti's other publication, Full Frontal Feminism, I must say that I enjoy her easy-to-read way of writing. It's a good way to introduce new generations to feminism, with her sassy wording and fun, talkative mannerisms. Not to mention, the book really made me think. It had never occurred to me that there was a double-standard about stalking in relationships, so that was probably my favorite section.

However, some of the writing, at times, left something to be desired. I think the final part of each section, which told the reader what they can do if they were come upon such double-standards, really could have been left out. A majority of the time it was just the same answer ("uh... just be aware that the double-standard exists, I guess?") and it really seemed to dumb down the general atmosphere of the book. It really took away from the reading experience for me, and I finished the book wishing those parts hadn't made Jessica sound so much less intelligent than she really is.

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If you enjoy feministing.com, and/or if you liked Jessica Valenti's last book, Full-Frontal Feminism, you'll definitely love this book. Valenti uses humor and demonstrates how ridiculous some double standards are. She connects the personal and political to illustrate how insidious, everyday stereotypes are damaging and dehumanizing. It's a difficult thing to raise consciousness about gender inequality in a way that inspires activism instead of depression. And even with Valenti's attitude and humor, readers will probably find themselves infuriated or disgusted while reading about some of the injustice described. The suggestions about how to change double standards are a little vague in some places, but there's enough there to get you started brainstorming hopefully with a group of like-minded feminist friends.

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